i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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