You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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