hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
