I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
