Your face is a jimmy john
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
