I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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