piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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