Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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