I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
