Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
