my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
