So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
how does that bad decision feel?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
