your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is her dick bigger than yours?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
