What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you win again, gameday.
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She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
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I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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