Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Soap is not a condiment
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
