We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
