State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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