Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
