I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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