Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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