dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
not ubering you a puppy
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