I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
