Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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