he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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