Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize