batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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