apparently the secret to your success is patron
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
