I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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