my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
