party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
