she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize