first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids