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Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
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