plz talk dirty to me
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
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My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.