I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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