I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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