I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
