2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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