No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
