I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize