i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
