shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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