I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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