In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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