There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize