Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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