why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome