fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
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did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
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just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.