I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......