Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
