Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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