Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
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