thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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