would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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