I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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