I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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