Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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