wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
