so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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