Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
