I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
