I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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