When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
