Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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