Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize