dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
