I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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