I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
